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Psalm 25- For the mommas

 Psalm 25 4-5, "Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God, my savior, and my hope is in you all day long. 

This is a verse mentioned in a devotional this evening I recently started and it stood out to me as I have been walking farther along this journey of motherhood. It has always been important to learn from the Lord, to seek his instruction, guidance and peace, to hope in him completely. That being said, having now entered into the toddler plus newborn era, I am feeling that need more then ever. Honest moment here, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. How to raise disciples? No clue. How to have patience through the cat 8 tsunami my toddler throws at me multiple times a day whilst keeping a newborn alive? Yep lost here too. This season is showing me more and more my weaknesses and my need for the Lord. Another honest moment, this has made me panic, I have felt unprepared, frustrated and I would go as far as to say unworthy of this precious calling that is motherhood most days. I am being reminded though that one of the amazing things about God is his strength is made perfect in our weakness and while I may have absolutely no idea what I am doing he does. Even better, my identity is not found in my performance as a mom, yes I will always strive to be the best I can for my children but if we are honest, as moms how often do we step too far and place our worth in the category of motherly achievement? How often do we degrade ourselves for not being patient enough, allowing the extra snack just to get the screaming to end etc? For me it has been to often for my liking and as much as it has made me struggle, it is also making me want to push deeper into the word, deeper into the presence of Jesus, deeper into community, because I need it. It is making me acknowledge my weakness and search for his strength, his sustenance in my life and if this struggle is what it takes to make me reach, make me chase him, then the struggle is worth it's weight in gold. I hope this can encourage some fellow mommas as it also serves as a reminder to myself that motherhood is a beautifully high calling, but we aren't called alone. Quite the opposite actually, as we are called to lead a band of tiny humans, the Lord is calling us, calling us back to be his child, to sit at his feet, to yearn for his presence as our babies yearn for ours and he is anxiously waiting to refill our cups so we can fill those of our babies. Sit at his feet, make the time, be still, hope in him all day long, not just when the tantrum starts, not just in the quiet when the mom guilt sets in. Hope in him all day and let his strength begin to permeate your soul.

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